Club of the mothers

It's really funny how I suddenly am in the club of mothers. Women I
never spoke to before at work suddenly talk to me about their
children, their vs. my pregnancy, the blessings of motherhood and
fertility (with the last one I just smile and nod) and that a life
without children in unimaginable (well, not so long ago that was my
biggest fear and very real).

It seems that there is meant to be a bond between women having
children (which obviously starts at pregnancy). I guess, I had nothing
in common with some of these women before, but suddenly I will have
the blessing of having a child in common with them.

I don't mind. In some respect it is quite nice because you can get
advice on things from women who've been there and done that. But in
some respect I would have needed this 'network' much more when we were
infertile. When I thought I'd never have a child of my own. When I
cried in the bathroom when someone told me they were pregnant and said
I couldn't begin to imagine how excited they are.

Websites and blogs can help through infertility treatment, but it
would have been nice to be able to talk as openly about injections,
egg retrieval, sperm transfer, OHSS and embryo transfer as it seems to
be acceptable to talk about constipation, leg cramps, baby kicks or
nose and gum bleeding.

But unfortunately infertility is not accepted like this. Pregnancy is
a blessing. Infertility is something to keep hidden behind the pillows
at the back of your wardrobe.

Once you are pregnant your company has to deal with the fact and be
fair to you. If they know you are going through treatment all they see
is endless doctor visits, the risk that you'll be lucky and go on
maternity leave, that you might be less committed to work and that you
might turn into an emotional wreck.

Life isn't fair, but nobody said it was. We all have our own lot to
carry I guess. I just feel blessed that we survived the struggle and
should come out smiling at the other end of the tunnel in a few months
time. I'm not particularly religious. But I pray for those still
fighting. I know any help is welcome.