Are you sure you are not having twins?

Are you sure you are not having twins? I think that is the question I am most frequently asked throughout this pregnancy. I am 19+5 today and admit it: I am big. I have put on a little in the face which is good as my face was too small anyway, but apart from that only my bump grows. As I am normally very thin (my colleagues always tried to fatten me up because they thought my natural thinness to be unfair and are delighted with the current development) and my belly goes straight out to the front I obviously look gigantic.

With some women the belly seems to go sideways, but mine just goes straight forward which causes me the occasional balance issue. But I am getting used to it. I don’t actually think that I am bigger than other women at this stage. But the contrast to my ‘normal’ body is just more extreme. They all say that it might be twins after all, because sometimes one hides behind the other. Well, as I’ve already seen the little one at 6 weeks I know for sure. There was only one heart…

What’s happening apart from that? Well, I bought myself a Prenatal Pilates DVD and am determined to do a few minutes every day. I just get out of breath far too quickly and want to be relatively fit when it comes to giving birth… I also would like to take up swimming again but my dear husband needs to sort out a few things first so I can go there.

We used a special promotion to get a lot of baby things practically for free. Well, the supermarket loyalty program gives us reward vouchers which we usually collect for many months and then use for a special treat – a while ago it was a hot air balloon flight. In the moment they have an offer where you can use them in the shops and get double value, so if it is a voucher for £5 you can buy goods for £10 with it. So rather than a special treat for hubby and me we bought: Steriliser, bottles, diaper bin, diaper bin lining, manual breastpump, stair gate, baby swing and baby bath. I wanted to wait with shopping until after the scan, but it just made sense with this offer only on for a limited time.

On the weekend we also looked at travel systems and cots and have a bit a better idea now what we need / want. I am struggling though with a few decisions. For example, the baby is meant to sleep with you for the first 6 months, but at the same time experts say that you should put the baby to sleep for the mid-day sleep in their own room and bed to get them used to sleeping on their own… So do I need two beds??? In the moment I consider a cot for the baby room to sleep during the day and a 2nd hand crib for our room at night for the first 6 months – getting the best of both worlds. But these things we only buy after the next scan.

Since Wednesday last week (18+5) I am quite sure that it is the baby I feel. It is poking me ever so often, quite a few times a day. It happens in particular if I lie down to relax, but I also feel it at work sometimes. It isn’t that strong yet that you could see it and that it can be felt externally, but I certainly do. That’s a big relieve as I still can’t pick up the heartbeat with my fetal doppler. I don’t know if this thing doesn’t work or if I am just incompetent (as the midwife still hasn’t checked for a heartbeat I don’t really know where I am meant to press) or if I have a front placenta which prevents me from hearing it… But as I can feel it, surely the little one is well.

My scan is in 15 days. I can’t wait for it because I’ll see my little one again and get some reassurance. And I can’t wait for it to be over as I dread getting any bad or worrying news.

My sister has her last working day today. Then she’ll be on holiday, then on maternity leave. She can’t wait as she is very exhausted all the time now. Once we had our scan and – hopefully – find out the gender, my parents will send a parcel with baby clothes they kept from when we were little. My sister got half and I get the other half. My sister said there is loads… Can’t wait to look at all the cute little outfits. I spent some time yesterday going through the BabyRUs catalogue. It is quite challenging how much there is to learn. I mean, my book (yes, I bought some baby books now) says you need vests, sleepsuits and bodysuits. What’s the difference? The catalogue had the names and product pictures below it so at least I am getting a little bit of an idea.

I decided (it never really was a question for me) that I want to breastfeed if I can. I kind off agree (not fully mind) with Gina Fords breastfeeding routine. I also think her idea to use the breastpump in the morning when you have more milk than needed and use it later in the day with a bottle is a good idea. Maybe my husband can then give her/him an 11pm bottle or a 7am bottle to allow me to sleep a little. It also lets him participate more and the baby is used to breast and bottle so weaning will be easier. Not sure how that works yet with storing the milk in the fridge – I think it is 12 hours (and longer in the freezer), but how do you warn it up? In the microwave, in hot water, or do I need a bottle warmer?

I am also sure that I need to buy blackout blinds so the baby sleeps through. The room she’ll be in is relatively light due to the street light. If we don’t change our mind on the room. The other one is really dark but it had a boiler in a wardrobe and I think it might be too warm. I’ll have to check the room temperatures.

At work it is incredibly busy this week. I have roughly 630 pages to read through within the next 3.5 days and then 2 weeks to score the 9 different documents on criteria listed on about 10 pages. I might have to work from home as I don’t think driving 40 minutes each way, reading and taking in that level of information and pregnancy related tiredness go together that well. So anything I can exclude to make me more focussed and less tired is going to be a benefit.

Last night I woke up 3 times because I dreamt that I was bleeding. I was so scared. I checked in the bathroom and nothing was there. I think it is just because I am sweating much more nowadays and maybe that’s what woke me up. I hope that's all it was.